Today I am overwhelmed with gratitude. God has blessed me. Family and friends love me. Life can throw me to my knees, but it never hijacks God’s love and goodness. He guides my decisions, and receives my praise. He answers my prayers, and receives His glory. He leads my plans, and gathers His harvest. When my own prayers were weak, He lifted me through the prayers of His children. When my own anxiety overshadowed my own faith, He pushed through with His incomprehensible peace. And when the results were in, He not only answered prayers, but graciously allowed me to see that these decisions were not in vain. Two weeks…
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Waiting Well It's A Matter of Perspective
Waiting is hard. When I first heard that statement after being diagnosed with breast cancer, it was in reference to waiting for the initial visit with the breast surgeon, and all the answers that would bring. Little did I know, that was only the first of many waits I would experience throughout this journey. My most recent wait, involved a unique situation. I finally made it to the big surgery day. Bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction using my own tissue. I had spent so much time prior to surgery second-guessing my decisions, that by the time surgery day rolled around, I was emotionally exhausted and ready to get it done and behind…
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New Fears Deeper Faith
A couple of years ago I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane to celebrate a friend’s 40th birthday. Needless to say, it was both exciting and terrifying. It was a tandem skydive, so I was harnessed to a trained instructor. Yes I had a choice. I certainly was not forced to jump. But I chose to trust the experienced, certified instructor to whom I was attached for the jump. Sometimes life is like that skydive. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I have gone through the range of emotions. From ominous feelings of depression, through almost overwhelming anxiety, to complete peace. Tomorrow morning I will…
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Our Fight Club Prepare your mind | Take up your Weapon
We are in a battle. But what are we really fighting for? I’ve read about this club. But never really considered it. I had no reason to. As a girl I was involved with a few clubs. Girl Scouts, Camp Fire Girls, Rainbow Girls. But generally speaking, I have never been a joiner. I don’t even like fads. But this club, I joined anyway. Honestly, it found me. And added me. Whether I wanted to be a member or not. I am not the first, nor the last, to use the breast cancer ‘club’ analogy. It is supportive and smothering at the same time. Now admittedly, I am not very…
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Two Weeks In Things Learned from Breast Cancer
I have trusted Him with my deepest fears and He has not disappointed. So here I am, two weeks in after being told I have breast cancer. Yes, it has been diagnosed early. Yes, it is contained and has most likely not spread. Yes, I know it could be much worse. But the initial shock of a definitive cancer diagnosis is nonetheless frightening. And my emotions have followed suit and taken a ride. In the midst of emotional unheaval, I have learned some things. 1. How to wait. At first I imagined the worst. Appointment #1 (surgeon) relieved those worst fears. Appointment #2 (geneticist) raised new questions but initiated more…
